Coping with Serious Illness

Dr. Owen S. Surman is a general hospital psychiatrist. He's put together some coping tips for people with serious illness or taking care of someone who is seriously ill. He has written a book, The Wrong Side of An Illness - A Doctor's Love Story, about his own journey after his wife was diagnosed with a terminal illness.

8 Tips for Coping

1. Learn to live in the moment – Find new meaning and beauty in life, and in the power of love.
2. Strive for acceptance – Understand the inevitable and come to terms with the time that remains.
3. Live like a surfer! – We do not command the tides. We must use every available strategy that is positive; climb back up when we fall off. Adapt.
4. Enlist the help of friends and family – Allow those who want to help to participate in a way that is practical and manageable.
5. Learn to communicate effectively with the children – If children are directly affected by this loss, find a support system or program that allows them to share their emotions with others facing the same feelings.
6. Grief in normal – Denial, anger, sadness, relief, moments of joy, and waves of crying are a tossed salad of emotion.
7. Seek professional help – Sometimes grief is complicated by insomnia, excessive withdrawal, depression, irritability, alcohol or drug abuse, or suicidal thoughts. Psychologists, psychiatrists, and social workers can be located with your doctor’s help, or through professional societies, medical schools and community health care centers.
8. Maintain hope - Second opinions are acceptable. Medical practice provides no crystal ball. Beyond statistics, we are each unique.