Stories & Experiences

My best friend

Almost a year has past since my best friend was diagnosed with liver cancer. She found out by accident. After going to Heart Scan of Minnesota for a heart scan as a preventative messure, was told that although her heart was very healthy they noticed a mass on her liver and she should see her doctor. After seeing her family physican(who by the way had preconceived notions of Heart Scan of Mn. and therefore was not very thorough while looking at the results. My friend had to tell her what was in the report she was looking at. Had she listened to this doctor she would have walked out of the office not knowing how sick she was.)Keep in mind that she was not having any symptoms except a feeling of being very full after eating.
It was decided that surgery was the best course to take. One third of her liver was removed and the cancer doctor was very pleased with the results and saw not reason for Chemo. He did however suggest that she get a second opinion. She called the Mayo Clinic and was told she could not get in for 2 months(maybe more I'm not sure). By the time she had her appointment and the tests were done including a biopsy the cancer was back and marching on. After one and a half rounds of Chemo she decided to seek an alternative treatment. She found a place in Mexico that boasted very good results. She was there for a month, receiving their treatment and going on an all organic diet. Her old way of eating was out and she embraced the new diet. She was not seeking a cure, just time to see her grandaughter graduate from high school in 4 years. Now she is home and an MRI shows more spots and they are larger. She has symtoms now. Fever, loss of appetite, fatigue and terrible pain in her right shoulder. She is weary of fighting the fight. I can't blame her. She was so full of life. It is painful to see her like this. I am writing this for two reasons. The first: I did not see one story about liver cancer so somebody needed to write one. I forgot to mention that my friend was a very light drinker. Being raised with drinking in her family she avoided any drinking other than an occasional wine cooler. So she did not bring this on herself by drinking to much.
The second reason: I have only one experience with cancer. My dad died of lung cancer. We were not very close but it is the only death I've had to deal with in my life.
Now my best friend is dying. I am looking for support. Someone I can ask "What do I do?" How can I help her? Make what life she has left better. I feel so helpless.
But this isn't about me. It's about how do you help someone who is dying?
Carole Drew

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